I’ve had an idea about building The Temple Of The Inner Bitch for about a decade now. It would be a place where you can come and worship, celebrate, meditate and contemplate Your Inner Bitch, whatever that means to you. Of course, I wanted to build this as an art piece and take it Burning Man, the yearly arts festival in the Nevada desert. Well guess what, Bitches?!
It’s official! The Temple Of The Inner Bitch has been made possible in part by a very generous grant from Burning Man and will be installed in Black Rock City approximately 75′ out from the man base by sunrise August 26. Boo-ya! I’m thrilled to be bringing The Temple Of The Inner Bitch to approximately 70,000 people in the desert and to everyone following along here.
When I received the acceptance email from Burning Man for The Temple Of The Inner Bitch, I was stunned. Then I was nauseous for four days because I’ve never built anything this big! (It’s only about a four foot cube, I can do this!) It has to be able to withstand 100 MPH winds in the harsh desert. It has to be built of non-toxic material. So many specs! So much to learn! So I made a real decision to turn that fear in my belly into excitement so that doors will open for me, so The Temple Of The Inner Bitch can be the best it can be.
A bit of back story – The Temple Of The Inner Bitch came to me about ten years ago like this: I was going through a really hard break-up and having a tough time. I’m sure I was zero fun to be around at work twelve hours a day in the production office of the film I was working on. I was raving and full of drama and talked about every detail of my break-up to my accounting team, including how I hoped his new girlfriend’s dreadlocks reeked of dead animals, soured b.o. and spoiled patchouli. My mouth was positioned right at the open office door like a megaphone and apparently everything I yelled ricocheted out through the bullpen of the rest of the office. I know, I’m soooo professional.
Someone complained, accounting was told to quiet down – that it was really the ‘non-stop cackling and frequent mention of certain body parts’ that was upsetting everyone. That actually made me feel better because I know I wasn’t the only cackler and frequent mentioner of certain body parts. Anyway, we choked back our cackling as best we could and only mumbled and whispered certain frequently mentioned body part words instead of screaming them. We did however, refuse to give up our daily post-lunch Ella Fitzgerald hip-hip mash-up dance party. Despite the all the fun we were having in accounting, I was a real bitch that week. No one got any money or vendor checks on time, I’ll tell you that. #Dontfuckwithaccounting
Late that Friday as I left the office, I said out loud, “Gosh, I’ve been a real bitch all week. I intend to go home and explore why this weekend.” I had no idea what that statement was about to open up. Saturday morning I did a little ceremony to contemplate and meditate on ‘being a bitch.’ And I let my mind wander and suddenly to my complete surprise . . . in my mind’s eye, I entered a Temple.
The Temple was dangerous and beautiful – sharp edges, razor blades, barbed wire, weapons, shiny metal, rich fabrics. The words “The Temple Of The Inner Bitch” clicked in my head. And I realized that my Inner Bitch protects me and should be celebrated, that if she pokes her head out, to stand tall . . . there’s probably a reason she’s arrived. I realized that releasing one’s Inner Bitch can save your ass. I also realized that there are a million different reasons, situations and styles of being a Bitch, on a spectrum ranging from sacred to snotty.
I was probably a Bitch that week in the office for mostly capricious, retaliatory reasons. Not my best Bitch. But the key takeaway for me was that my Inner Bitch is a force and at her highest good, she protects me. I’m grateful for that knowledge.
And I’m grateful for the opportunity to build a piece of art centered around the contemplation of The Inner Bitch. So, I’d love to get the conversation started below. What does your Inner Bitch protect you from? Do you shy away from your Inner Bitch? How are we taught as children to ignore our Inner Bitch? How can we connect with that mostly feminine force in a more positive way? How do we use our Inner Bitch in counter-productive ways? And probably most of all, how can we own/harness more of our Inner Bitch?
Tina Fey says, “Bitches get stuff done.”
Bette Davis said, “When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.”
I say, “Bitches Unite!”
### That picture is the second cardboard mock-up of The Temple Of The Inner Bitch. I’ll be sharing a lot more about the construction process with you, including ways you can be involved!
I love it! And I love you.
I love YOU and all your sea shrines! They inspire me!
Love to see you getting your Inner Bitch Temple on, so we can get our Inner Bitches on! Do you have any drawings of how you would like the Temple to look?
I have a couple drawings, but the picture above is the second cardboard mock-up. It’s getting there! Next step: build it in wood. Errrm, after I learn enough to Auto-CAD the cardboard structure so that my friend who is a contractor can help me. 🙂
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! You got accepted at Burning Man!!!! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!
I can’t wait to see the final product.
To your questions: I completely shy away from my inner bitch, and I think as children, at least girls, we’re taught to be nice and not raise our voices. But what gets lost in there is that we can be firm without getting mad or raising our voices, but then by being told to be nice, we don’t learn that.
At least that’s my take on it.
Yes, I’m fascinated with this ‘be nice’ conditioning most of us are ingrained with as children and how we can use it as a tool to reclaim our Inner Bitch.
One strategy I’ve read is to simply say, “I don’t think so” as a way of channeling your Inner Bitch. Sometimes we don’t need to say a lot or even be forceful to be assertive.
The older I get, the more my Inner Bitch and I get along. She’s made her presence known quite a bit in the last 2ish years. I’m grateful for her wisdom and willingness to come out and play when I need her most. All Hail the Inner Bitch!
I agree, I think maybe as we get older, some of the things we once cared about (like appearing nice or whatever) have less of a priority than do standing up for ourselves and getting the things accomplished that mean something to us. Women are squashed all the time by the need and expectation of ‘being nice.’