­

How To Make New Friends Via Ceramic Duck Larceny

Hey so, in case you’ve been under a rock and didn’t know . . . I now live in New Orleans, in the Faubourg Marigny neighborhood. I’m pretty good at making new friends, but I thought I’d tell you all about this new friend-making technique that worked well for me.

One of three blighted properties next door. The one-legged junkie named Clarence usually sleeps in there.

Our new […]

The Unsolicited Directors Of Entertainment

So, Cancun and Playa Del Carmen are crawling with private resorts. Our first apartment in Playa was right behind a giant all-inclusive resort. Of course, this made us curious about the place. But at over $100USD for a day pass, we weren’t curious enough to drop that kind of money.

We joked around with our Canadian neighbors about sneaking in. Now, before you judge me – I made it clear to everyone […]

Camel Sexy!

I’m to that point in my life when, sometimes, I have camel-toe and I don’t really care.

It’s my roller skating outfit – stretchy sexy matching workout pants and jacket – with racing stripes on the side of the pants. It’s tight, in all the right places. The orange and brown of the suit match my orange and brown skates. The pants pull up in just the right spot, but not too far. This is no […]

Knock, Knock, Knock-in’ on Mama’s Door . . .

Here’s the lowdown. I’ll tell it like it is, so that everything is clear and there are no questions.

My mother has some serious brain trauma problems that stem from several sources. She had an accident as a child which initially delayed her development and within the past several decades has endured some documented spousal abuse from her second husband, which has resulted in at least two hematomas. I’ve thought alot about blogging about this kind […]

Scooby-Doo eyes at The Cadillac Restaurant

Dad wanted to take us out for dinner the first night we visit him in Owensboro. We all load up in his Chevy conversion van. Mom, who has had four major back surgeries in recent years, lies down in the backseat, chaffuered like a queen, with her little Chihuahua, Linus, perched on the ample shelf of her cleavage. The rest of us pile in. A belt in the engine strains out a constant squeal as […]

The Heartland Roadtrip Wrap-Up

 

Wow, I don’t know where to begin. The past few days have been wonderful and funny; strange and sentimental. The past five days flew by, yet there were often slow moments of awkwardness, where time seems to stop. I never spent one second completely alone, and that for me was strange. I suppose I could have gotten up early in the mornings and take a walk, for we were certainly in some gorgeous rolling countryside […]