So Matt and I basically raced across the United States and Europe this summer and fall, moving really quickly from place to place. Too quickly, it turns out. And honestly, having some massive growing pains in our marriage. We blissfully traveled together the entire first year of our relationship back in 2008. So no problem doing it now, right? :::::needle scratch on record::::: Wrong.
We sort of double sucker punched ourselves on this trip. Repeatedly. For almost five months. When we started saving for our honeymoon three years ago, we knew we wanted to do some long term travel. We also purposefully timed everything so that when we lost our Venice Bungalow, we’d put our stuff in storage and let Frank the cat live with friends for awhile.
What we didn’t know was that moving was going to be so goddamned traumatic. It was. It’s over now, but the echoes of that move chased us for the last five months. Sure, we had a lot of great times. But we argued just as much. Explosive, truly mindless, crazy arguments in Venice, all across the USA, Iceland, Copenhagen, Germany, Czech Republic, Romania, Italy. Another UNESCO heritage site, another exhausting argument ending in me basically wanting to jump off of a gorgeous foreign bridge. I decided to stop drinking while in Italy. (I know, right?!) It sort of worked, I slowed down a lot. Which was hard because wine is cheaper than water in most of Europe! And so delicious.
For a week, we hid out in Italy with a wonderful, brilliant, loving couple who have a great relationship. I felt like a broken bird when I arrived there and felt mended by the time I left. (Shout out to Gary and Jessie! We love you!) We identified what we needed to do to move forward as the Team Tyler everyone, especially us, knows and loves. By the time we got to Greece, I started fasting, eating mostly raw food and not drinking alcohol. I felt great, less stressed, more clear-headed and we argued a lot less. For a lot of reasons, but most of all because we pin-pointed the problem. We had been so mean to one another when we were moving from Venice, that we’d just gotten into a default-mode of doubting one another and stubbornly not agreeing on anything, almost just for the sake of it.
And we’ve learned a bunch of stuff while being on the road. Mostly that we want to keep traveling, but a lot s-l-o-w-e-r, live in different places for several months at a time at the very least. And I want to bring Frank the cat along with me. Rent little apartments, get to know different places, countries and neighborhoods. Be world citizens. Love each other and do the work that matters to us. In my case that’s writing and storytelling. In his case, (for now) that’s coding and learning the trumpet. Really, it’s a cornet, but who knows what that is? (Hint: It’s a mini-trumpet.) He picked up a real brass vintage working fucking mini-trumpet/cornet at junk shop in Greece. I love this noisy man!
So for now, we’ve landed in Playa Del Carmen in the Yucatan Peninsula. We committed to a month at a really cool place. Our new friend Diego is opening a small hostel and he’s literally building it out himself. It’s not quite ready yet, there are lots of things here in flux. But we are super happy that he rented a bare bones room to us and we are so excited to see him build out the place around us. Diego is a musician, so he doesn’t mind that Matt practices the cornet. He’s got a sax, guitar, harmonica, flutes, drums and an entire wood shop. And a hound dog with the biggest balls you’ve ever seen.
So, what’s next? We are headed to LA from December 21st through January 9th. I’m going to go to my storage unit, probably get seriously overwhelmed, and sell a bunch of things. We have some big decisions to make. And It’s not going to all get solved in the three weeks while I’m there. January 9th, we come back home (sort of, for now) to Playa Del Carmen.