I’m heading H-O-M-E . . . (at least for a lil’ while) and I’m so excited about it!!
I told Matt that I was going to strap him to the roof of my car and take him home with me. Apparently that was convincing, so he said he’d rather ride inside the car with me, you know, so he wouldn’t get rained on. We’ll be stopping off in Austin, Texas for a week or so on the way back. One of the reasons we’re heading back in a leisurely fashion is because my sublettor needs to stay in the bungalow until the end of October.
So that means Matt and I and Frank the cat need a house to sit or a room to rent for most of October. I’ll be putting my stuff in the art studio. We don’t take up much room. We’re fun as hell. And Matt’s a damn good cook – I’ll be pimping him out to cook meals. I’m looking for takers!
so I wrote a letter to McSweeney’s, but it wasn’t about what I thought it was going to be (hover tractor).
I think you’ll enjoy it
here it is:
Dear McSweeney’s,
I’ve been monitoring your progress and would like to offer some assistance as to your literary content. It is my belief that you have almost completely overlooked the most breathtaking literary device known throughout history. This has given me fits of worry and has gained the outrage of my peers. Your exclusion of such obvious and useful subject matter is beyond me. The lack of bear suit phenomena in your publications is ludicrous. Nearly every great use of the written word has involved bear suit appearances from The Brothers Karamazov to Last of the Mohicans.
I beg you to identify this necessity and rectify your actions in the future, for the sake of your readers and your credibility as a whole.
Sincerely,
Lord Matthew Fancypants Tyler
Adairville, KY