It all started some time last year. I was at a storytelling show in my neighborhood and got invited to sit at a table with a bunch of people I didn’t know. I said hello to my new friends and the natural course of conversation shifted to where I live.
“I’m just around the corner,” I said.
Andrea, the girl across from me said, “Uh huh, go on, go on . . . where?”
“Really? Me too!” Andrea said. “Which end?”
“At the corner of 6th.”
Andrea’s eyes got huge. “Oh my god!!” she squealed. “Do you know who your neighbor is?”
“Yeah . . .” I said, confused as to why she’d be so excited. “Which one? I know all of my neighbors . . .”
“LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS!” she screams. “He lives in that new modern house just up on 6th. Drives a white Volvo, I’ve seen him.”
That’s when I realized I was about to break my new neighbor-friend’s blissful star gazing bubble. For alas, I do know this Volvo driving dude and as good looking as he is, he’s not LDP. At least I’m pretty sure.
“I hate to break it to you,” I said. “He may look like Lou Diamond Phillips, but that’s just my neighbor Tommy. You’ve probably seen him walking his three gay dogs, too.”
Andrea, obviously a bit disappointed, “Yeah, I thought it might be weird for Lou Diamond Phillips to have three little dogs. But hey, what does your neighbor do for a living anyway??”
“I don’t know.”
I could almost see Andrea’s bubble re-inflate. “You don’t know??! How could you not know?”
“I don’t make it a habit to ask my friends and neighbors what they do for a living,” I said.
“Well . . . then. Ma-a-aybe it IS Lou Diamond Phillips! Maybe he just says his name is Tommy, you know, for like, a cover.”
She refuses to believe that my neighbor is anyone other than Lou Diamond Phillips. I think it’s a fine rumor to perpetuate in the neighborhood. I told Tommy about his doppelganger.
And ever since then, Tommy has taken to wearing shades and ditching papparazzi. So, who knows? Maybe my neighbor is LDP. Except for those dogs . . . what kind of dogs do you think LDP would have around? Who’s your celebrity doppelganger?