Ok, so here I am this morning. Drinking black coffee. Headphones in. It must be working, because no one is fucking with me and I’m powering through work. I have not been motivated for a few weeks. Because every single day, it’s like, “Oh shit, what kind of BS will go down today?” The waiting game is over. We’re all going home. This nightmare has ended. The ennui has lifted because the uncertainty has dried up.
And even though all the crew has descended upon our office and are frantically wrapping out all their gear and paperwork, NO ONE has bothered me. And that’s good. I’m all jumpy and jittery. And cranking it out.
It occurred to me this morning that one must know what one wants in order to make what they want to happen actually come about. And what I want is to wrap this thing up and move on. Head ’em up, move ’em out.
I’m kicking around the idea of futzing around my family farm for the summer. Anybody wanna help me build a structure there . . . ? As in a permanent structure? There’s nothing there but cricks and trees and rabbits and hawks and deer and snakes and a well and maybe a usable foundation for a house. And potential. And plenty of room . . .